never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
