If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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