its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Randomize
