He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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