forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
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At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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