His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Someone shattered a urinal.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
