This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Two words: blizzard sex
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize