i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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