If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize