she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
