all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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