Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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