Nicole vs. Life
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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