I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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