she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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