I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
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we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think your dad took our porno
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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