How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
