My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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