I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
