My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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