I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
