Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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