So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize