Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
