The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
