I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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