Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
