i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
