Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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