Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize