I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
