The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He better not be in your backpack
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
there is glitter all over my balls
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
