Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

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  (612): we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/eg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (4710) Bad night (619)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't breathe out the right side of my face

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  (646): I can't breathe out the right side of my face http://tfl.nu/2qbr
  Replies (5) Good night (758) Bad night (2009)
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  (209): View more from California

  just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?

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  (209): just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto? http://tfl.nu/nvmp
  Replies (22) Good night (1637) Bad night (4787)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  clearly you are not from wisconsin

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  (763): dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve (608): clearly you are not from wisconsin http://tfl.nu/j6wr
  Replies (104) Good night (7731) Bad night (894)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (16271) Bad night (1285)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend

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  (+44): I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend http://tfl.nu/iyod
  Replies (17) Good night (3742) Bad night (1496)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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  (617): Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant. http://tfl.nu/y6pb
  Replies (30) Good night (4205) Bad night (1352)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.

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  (613): Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say. http://tfl.nu/8sw1
  Replies (20) Good night (750) Bad night (9502)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.

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  (706): She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night. http://tfl.nu/uc8q
  Replies (5) Good night (7064) Bad night (923)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?

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  (917): This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case? http://tfl.nu/t5hu
  Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (333)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms

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  (541): stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms http://tfl.nu/9llu
  Replies (4) Good night (391) Bad night (833)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.

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  (702): Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day. http://tfl.nu/accn
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (538)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -

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  (973): That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan - http://tfl.nu/yuzz
  Replies (5) Good night (283) Bad night (587)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?

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  (973): He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right? http://tfl.nu/vsli
  Replies (7) Good night (338) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I need a costume

  (206): View more from Washington

  Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha

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  (425): I need a costume (206): Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha http://tfl.nu/g01f
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (444)

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