Texts From Last Night

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  (478): View more from Georgia

  This is not my ceiling

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  (478): This is not my ceiling http://tfl.nu/p46e
  Replies (11) Good night (1857) Bad night (674)
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  (916): View more from California

  People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.

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  (916): People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks. http://tfl.nu/z8b4
  Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (496)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  ok, come over...I have doritos

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  (201): Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home... (1-201): ok, come over...I have doritos http://tfl.nu/32vm
  Replies (8) Good night (1104) Bad night (1941)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  69 |D_O

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  wtf does that mean??

  (602): View more from Arizona

  it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

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  (602): 69 |D_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" http://tfl.nu/6ega
  Replies (59) Good night (7547) Bad night (1098)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.

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  (610): Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name. http://tfl.nu/1ows
  Replies (57) Good night (1251) Bad night (15344)
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  (516): View more from New York

  do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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  (516): do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ? http://tfl.nu/or6i
  Replies (6) Good night (2788) Bad night (996)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.

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  (920): You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation. http://tfl.nu/euxm
  Replies (2) Good night (2602) Bad night (718)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.

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  (314): If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die. http://tfl.nu/75m1
  Replies (10) Good night (2169) Bad night (1054)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.

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  (941): We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships. http://tfl.nu/x14j
  Replies (5) Good night (2929) Bad night (832)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness

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  (630): Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness http://tfl.nu/aq74
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (1307)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home

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  (217): i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home http://tfl.nu/a1xk
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (481)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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  (860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y
  Replies (10) Good night (1490) Bad night (520)
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  (760): View more from California

  Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?

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  (760): Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection? http://tfl.nu/93gn
  Replies (5) Good night (425) Bad night (562)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.

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  (703): Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/t0sc
  Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (253)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.

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  (804): Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal. http://tfl.nu/5gs5
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (272)

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