just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
