you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit