is your mom at the bar?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.