girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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