if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
