dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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