I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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