Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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