took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize