You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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