How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
