I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
