nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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