JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
well you can't waste a boner
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
