Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
