Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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