Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
