nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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