The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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