i think my mom watched the whole time
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
