How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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