Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
