i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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