If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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