Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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