I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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